Health issues are a strenuous part of life for me, and many others with autism. I am currently dealing with more health issues than I can handle with my current schedule. It is not easy for me understand what is happening with my body, nor is it easy to take the proper time to heal and recover.

Regardless of how this upsets many of my predictable and favored routines, I have come to the conclusion that I need to take a break from blogging, among other things, for a few weeks (I hope that is all), due to needing more healing and time than I am currently giving myself. 

It takes my brain so much longer to process and adapt to anything different or new, that I constantly feel "behind" in life. 

Transitions are one of the most difficult, demanding, and laborious things in this world for me.

I hope the transition to come back to my blog is as smooth as it can be.

I am exhausted, mentally, physically and spiritually.

I'm still in a "fog" and recovering from some health issues caused by extreme anxiety and shutting-down, from last week. My mind and thoughts are working fine now, but most of my  thoughts aren't translating correctly through words and communication. I really pushed my limits too far. i do that a lot. Although, it happens WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY less than it used to; it is very hard to find out where those limits are. How far is too far?  My good friend Jade recently wrote interesting blog post about limits here.

These are the times in life that are more difficult...when I feel perfectly normal inside, but outside, and physically, everything is foreign, everything is scary, difficult, louder, painful, time consuming, exhausting...even more so than usual. I can always tell when I REALLY need to recover when it takes longer to figure out my fine motor movements- like writing, picking things up, and forming words.

The good thing is that it's not as bad as it used to be. The more I grow, the more I learn, the more I implement good coping methods, the more prepared I am for the world, the more proactive I can be - the more I actually enjoy my life.

Special blog post today!!!

Today is February 1st, which mean I have officially done a full year of a-jelly-a-day AND my blog!! This process has been very satisfying for me and I am very proud of myself for finishing this project. I started this project to:


1) to improve my drawing skills

2) embrace my obsession for jellies, instead of hiding it

3) to prove to myself that I can and DO complete things

My original inspiration for this project:

Make Something 365

As closure to my project, I would summarize of the last year of my life through my jelly creations (Also, I think I may have a small party. I heard there may be a homemade jellyfish cake in my future):

There are SO many changes in life, all the time. Especially in winter. Everything is darker, colder, full of different daily processes, and outside activities involve a lot more preparation. Bleh.

But. . . there is one thing that doesn't change. . .

something that is always there for me, even when the world feels like one big attack on my senses.

And that thing is:

jellies

Every time I have needed the jellies, they have been there for me. 

#1: I started taking ashwagandha again!

Ashwagandha is an herb that I helps me with my anxiety, nervous system, stress levels, and more. I drink it in a tea form and take it in capsules (I capsule it myself with ground ashwagandha using Oregon's Wild Harvest bulk herbs). This herb is an important factor for my ability to process information, words, and my environment. But, I sometimes forget that it is SO helpful to me and, for the past few months, I have not been taking it.

My family and I have developed a new routine that will (hopefully) help me remember to take it everyday. 

#2: I reincorporated my favorite daily schedule back into my day.

In addition to my awesome wall of visual reminders,  schedules, brainstorming boards, trigger list, etcetera, I have starting using, again, my pink Velcro schedule! It's a little inconvenient to update every night (to be ready for the next day), but it is the one that helps me the most. I LOVE how much calmer I am when I have that schedule available to me. Plus, Velcro is fun!

#3: Planning updates to my Etsy shop, unspokenVisuals.

I have been making progress on updating my Etsy shop. AND, I have been working on adding a new product that should be up for sale within the next few weeks! It's not buttons, or custom schedules (which I would like to eventually offer), but it is  a soothing, great item -- especially in the winter months.

#4: Daily word limitations more manageable!

 I have found more of a balance with my limitation of words. Doing only 2 blogs a week, has made it possible for me to reply to a small amount of emails, comment on a few other blogs, and enjoy listening to more of the conversation around me (instead of avoiding or shutting out conversation).

I have even caught myself saying things, even at home, like:
"it's ok"
"Sure!"
"Why not?"

It has been a  VERY different week for me then it has been for the past........many months. LOTS of stuff accomplished, and only a few meltdowns. Mostly, it's all due to ashwagandha. Yay!

Also, for any of you who have noticed I have been posting my daily jellyfish in groups a few days apart, instead of everyday, it's because my computer is temporarily in a different room from my scanner. I am still doing one a day, I just don't want to  of move my scanner back and forth every day, just for one scan.

<3

It's really. . . mind-boggling when I think about how much I have mentally and emotionally grown in the past few years.

I have gained more than a few strong friendships of incredibly kind, understanding, caring, and intelligent individuals.

Because of them, I have:

• interacted with others more comfortably, as myself
• found better ways to self-regulate in order to get through a day
• been able to change plans on shorter notice, without losing all functionality
  
• been able to request more of what I need
• attended a desired comic convention (GeekGirlCon) 2 years in a row
• been able to sing in front of a few people
• been able to listen to the sound of my voice on a recording
  
• played video games, with other people in the same room
• danced with others without shutting down
  
• been able to better advocate for myself, and for others
• become more confident as a photographer and an artist
  
• played an instrument in front of someone 1 on 1
• expanded what type of books I read
• been more myself with others
• learned when to push an issue and when to stop, and let it go
• been able to realize what I believe in, and stand by it

. . .and most importantly:

• I have learned my limits and boundaries, so that I know when I need to stop and take care of myself.

What's one way that you have grown?